On Thursday night we went out to eat with Dana, Mikey, and tiny little Brooklyn. It was their first real outing since Brooklyn arrived. She is just over a month old now and I haven't seen her since she was two weeks old. I could already tell that she had grown so much.
When we got to the restaurant Brooklyn was eating, but Dana handed her over to me as soon as she was finished. She was so teeny tiny and had that wonderful baby smell and she was so soft and she made the cutest little grunts and gurgles and her eyes were open this time.
It was heaven and hell at the same exact moment. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face but at the same time my eyes were welling with tears.
Dana and I had this "plan" of having families together. We started trying at the same time. It took awhile, but then they got pregnant and then lost the baby. I was grateful that we hadn't done that together. We all continued trying. A little over a year later they got pregnant again. Now they have this sweet newborn. If it was almost anyone besides our best friends I don't think I could stand it. And it is hard as it is. I'm 100%, undoubtedly, positively, absolutely, genuinely happy for them. I just can't help but wish we were doing this together... like we "planned."
That was on Thursday and I've been in a bit of a funk ever since. I haven't wanted to leave my house (HIGHLY unusual for me) or see anyone other than hubby. This funk has also made me want to eat anything in our house... NOT GOOD! Tonight my parents called to see if we had eaten dinner yet. I wanted to tell them that we had and then just stay home, but we ended up going out with them and it was really good to get out of the house after all. I think some shopping would have made it even better ;)
I'm choosing my attitude now. The rest of the weekend won't be wasted on my pity party!