Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm not grumpy - just thinking

A few things I've been pondering over the last week or so...

*How many years is it safe/effective to be on pre-natal vitamins without actually having a baby?

*Should I continue playing my Primary Care Physician and OBGYN off of each other to get what I need, or should I just find a new OBGYN?

*Why won't my husband open up about his feelings concerning all these issues more often? It makes me feel so much more connected - like we really are on the same page - like I'm not doing this by myself - when he tells me how he feels, so let's talk buddy!

*Is it even possible for me to stay cheerful after 3 new babies, 1 baby shower & 3 "we're expecting!" announcements in less than a week?! Seriously folks, seriously!!!! {disclaimer - I really am happy for all the blessings that my friends/family are receiving! And I promise not to cry in front of them & to always say Congratulations!}

*Are the financial decisions we are making in regard to all these procedures sound for the future?

These are mostly rhetorical questions, just needed to ask them so they'll stop rattling around in my brain.

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  1. Amanda -

    I wonder the same thing about prenatal vitamins! I also know that the extra 10 pounds I have been carrying around since my miscarriage is attributed to the fact that I have been taking p. vitamins for so long. FUN TIMES.

    I understand what you mean about your husband sharing feelings. I have made Jason have a "job" concerning me taking my temp every day. I think that makes him feel like he is a part of doing something to help our progress and it makes me feel less alone and like we are in this thing together.

    It is possible to stay positive and supportive of other people's happiness, but it is difficult. Really difficult. It is amazing how well I will do one minute with such news as you have described above and then you turn around and one person says the absolute wrong thing and I turn into a mess. Like recently with my friend who just had a her baby seven weeks early. I was talking to her and I think I was being really supportive. She goes on to say "Having a baby really does change your life completely. It is so hard to explain." I just felt like it was a slap in the face to be honest. I mean - I already know I don't know what it is like and I just "don't get it" because I don't have a living child, but I don't need someone to remind me of that fact. Know what I mean? I didn't act out towards her because I know she is just overwhelmed and didn't really mean anything by it, but it just stung.

    I don't have all the answers, but I do ask myself similar questions constantly so don't feel alone. This journey we are on is not an easy one and we don't know why we are walking this road, but one day it will all make sense to us and we will be thankful we walked it...and walked it together.