Saturday, August 11, 2012

All the technology that I've grown accustomed to using is ruining my in-person socialization skills! 

I'm super good at writing a witty email or chatting somebody up on facebook.  My text messages are friendly and funny. 

However, in person, I'm a blubbering, incoherent, not even mildly funny idiot. 

Not having the chance to edit myself scares me into silence.  All of the sudden I can't think of a single interesting thing that anyone would be interested in talking about for more than .6 seconds. 

I'd say most of this comes from having an introverted personality and being generally shy going back as long as I can remember.  But I certainly don't think that technology is helping me at all.  With my computer/phone/tablet I can sit comfortably at home and chat or not.  I can edit myself.  I don't have to feel the sting of embarrassment for being so quiet. 

Tonight, this all stems from a particularly bad experience from almost a year ago.  A year.  Really.  And I'm still thinking about it.  Truth is, I think about it a lot more than I'd like to admit to myself or you.  It started out well enough.  Dinner with my hubby, one of my best friends Robby, and his new girlfriend.  It sounded great until we got there and I suddenly remembered that I'm terrible at meeting new people because I just can't talk to them.  And I'm deathly afraid that they'll think I'm an idiot.  And every moment that I don't say something interesting and funny, I get more afraid of saying something stupid.  So I'm quiet.  And then this perfectly wonderful new person thinks that I don't like them.  Ahhh, it sounds so dumb when I write it out. 

Robby got engaged to his wonderful girlfriend tonight.  And even though we are good friends, we haven't hung out again since that dinner a year ago.  Because I did not make a good impression that night.  I did a terrible job at making a new friend.  Even though we have a lot in common and should have had a lot to talk about, I sat there quietly listening to everyone else talk.  It was not a fun night, and I really don't blame them for not wanting to hang out with us again.  (How in the world do I have any friends in real life?!)  I'm just sad tonight because I feel my 15 year friendship with Robby slipping away because I'm not good at making new friends and did not make a good 1st impression with his soon to be wife. 

Oh and guess what.... tomorrow I get to go to brunch with a friend/cousin-in-law who I have communicated with 99% of the time through social media!  Oh what fun.  Let the nervousness begin.... NOW!

1 comment:

  1. I have the same problem! I can't find anything to talk about when I am standing in front of a person, but have all kinds of things to talk about via e-mail and blogging. Ugh. Good luck with the brunch!