Sunday, November 8, 2009

losing touch

In high school I was lucky to have a good group of friends. Girls that would take me home even though it was 25 minutes out of their way just so I didn't have to ride the bus. Girls to lend me lunch money when I couldn't get my locker open to get my purse out. Girls that spent the entire weekend working on crazy history projects without so much as a shower. Girls that pushed me outside my comfort zone and showed me how to have more fun than I knew possible. Girls that forgave me when silly high school drama crept into our lives. Girls that I had a ton in common with. Girls that I still talk to and girls that I have lost touch with. Girls that could make me smile on a bad day. Girls that watched an insane number of movies with me. Girls that joined clubs and sports with me just so we'd have longer to hang out together.


But my best friend was a guy. We talked about everything under the sun. He knew me better than any of the girls even though I spent more time hanging out with the girls. I planned on naming one of my kids after him no matter what my future husband had to say about it. We were teased some about being friends but not 'liking' each other... kids that age can be mean. But really we were just great friends.

I was afraid to go to college with 15 of my friends from high school. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to really find myself. {P.S. I was stupid!} So we went to different colleges. {Did I mention I was stupid?!} He had a girlfriend at the time that was still in high school and did not like him having female friends, especially me. So our talks got fewer and farther between. By the time I finally figured out how stupid I had been and transferred to the school with all my friends we were in slightly different places in life. Our talks were still wonderful and comfortable and we were still close, but something had changed and even though we were in the same town again {and he was crazy-girlfriend-less} we didn't go right back to how it was before.

After college it all kinda fell apart. He moved away. Our phone calls got farther and farther apart until they just stopped all together. I got married. And even though Aaron was really good friends with this guy too, it just didn't feel right to track down and pursue this friendship with Aaron on the sideline.

This entire life story has a point. This guy's birthday was last week. He was on my mind most of the week - wondering where he is now, if he's at the same job, with the same girl, happy? Same kinds of things I wonder about my other high school friends that I've lost touch with {and some that just give me glimpses of their lives through facebook}. Then the night after his birthday I had a dream about him. I actually don't remember any specifics of the dream, just that I woke up feeling like he's troubled, like he needs a friend.

I have no clue how to get in touch with him. I have no clue if my brain is just playing tricks on me since I was already thinking about him last week. All I do know is we were friends through a lot of tough stuff in high school and college and if he needs a friend now, I'd love to be there for him.

I don't plan on turning into a crazy stalker now and there's really nothing I can do about it, but it's just nice to get that out so that it can stop rattling around in my brain. When I told Aaron he just thought I was crazy, so maybe telling the bloggy world will make me feel less crazy!

No comments:

Post a Comment